Town Meeting Song

Lyrics
There were objects so peculiar. They were not to be believe all around. Things to tantalize my brain.

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen. And as hard as I try. I can't seem to describe like a most improbable dream.

But you must believe when I tell you this. It's as real as my skull. And it does exist. Here, let me show you.

[All gasping]

This is a thing called a "present." The whole thing starts with a box.

A box? Is it steel? Are there locks? Is it filled with a pox? A pox! How delightful! A pox!

If you please! Just a box with bright colored paper and the whole thing's topped with a bow.

A bow? But why? How ugly! What's in it? What's in it?

That's the point of the thing! Not to know.

It's a bat. (Will it bend?) It's a rat. (Will it break?)

Perhaps, it's the head that I found in the lake.

Listen now! You don't understand; that's not the point of Christmas Land.

[All murmuring]

Now, pay attention. Now we pick up an over-sized sock and hang it like this on the wall.

Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? Let me see! Let me look! Is it rotted and covered with gook?

Hmm... let me explain. There's no foot inside. But there's candy. Or sometimes, it's filled with small toys.

Small toys? Do they bite? Do they snap or explode in a sack?

Or perhaps, they just spring out and scare girls and boys.

What a splendid idea! This Christmas sounds fun. Why I fully endorse it! Let's try it at once.

Everyone! Please now, not so fast! There's something here that you don't quite grasp. Well, I may as well give them what they want.

And the best I must confess, I have saved for the last for the ruler of this Christmas Land is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice least that's what I've come to understand.

And I've also heard it told that he's something to behold like a lobster, huge and red. And sets out to slay with his rain gear on carting bulging sacks with his big great arms. That is so. I've heard it said

And on a dark cold night under a full moonlight. He flies into a fog like a vulture in the sky. And they call him "Sandy Claws."

[All cheering]

Well, at least they're excited. Though they don't understand that line of feeling in special Christmas Land. Oh, well...